Origin Story of Flying Pig
by Audemay
Summary: Why does Flying Pig entertain people at life's many lineups? I just wanted to explore what Flying Pig's, from The Kids In The Hall, origin story might be, what his Hero's Journey might look like and answer that question.


I did not invent Flying Pig. I just explored what his origin story might be and wrote one for him. Flying Pig was created by The Kids In The Hall.

Once upon a time, tucked away from the comings and goings of the world, contently and stoically still, lived the pigs of Pigwell Farm.

On this farm, the pigs lived in small stalls. They had never felt the grains of any other soil than that beneath their feet. Their food was brought to them by an automated tube system. Their water provided the same way. Their view was such that they could not see outside their stalls, nor could they see each other. They could only see the sky.

To further the progress of their ignorance, their priest Porkus Aurillius extolled upon the wisdom of the "prophet" Zeno, who explained that to travel anywhere one must first travel half of the distance.

Porkus Aurillius would speak to his congregation every day, rallying his message,"Motion is impossible, because an object in motion must reach the half-way point before it gets to the end. By the edict of the divine Zeno, let us be still. Let us find ourselves content to be in our proper place. Let us neither try to finish or try to start. There is a thing called a stone in my stall, it is sturdy, it is strong, it is unmovable. This stone is a gift from Zeno to give us our exemplar of what to be. Let us be solid. Let us stand still and proud. We could never get anywhere according to the wisdom of Zeno. We wouldonly be infinitely halfway to anywhere. Getting somewhere is an illusion, it is an idle dream. So snort we all."

"So snort we all", the congregation repeated in unison, and they snorted loudly and proudly.

But there was one little pig who did not much like this way of thinking, he found it infinately boring rather than infinitely immobilizing, and refused to snort. He wanted to see what was beyond the stalls. He thought life was too important to be taken with so serious a demeanor.

He had somehow an inner sense of joy and excitement, from where he did not know. His imagination tickled him and caused him to laugh, but he always kept his laugh close to his own ears. One day he just couldn't keep it to himself, he came to realize that happiness was born a quintuplet, it is not something that's meant to be alone. So he started laughing loud enough so that other pigs could hear. He noticed he got laughs from the pigs next to his stall when he laughed with his hee hee hees.

Seeing that he was entertaining his closest neighbors he started saying things like, hey hey hey, hee hee hee, loud enough for all to hear. It was very endearing to his peers. So much so that Porkus Aurilius saw that it was distracting his sermons.

"Stop silly pig," said Porkus, "You're distracting everyone from what is really important."

Silly Pig said, "I just wanted to make everyone laugh. Don't mind me, I'll just go back to eating while you all go back to doing what is important. I just thought laughing could be important too."

Porkus Aurillius,"Yes, laughing will be important when one of us can fly."

The thought of being a flying pig tickled Silly Pig. Oh the wonderful silly things he could do if he could fly. To Porkus's delight, Silly Pig laughing and giggling while eating an apple core left in his automized trough, started choking. His choking coughs were loud enough for all to hear, as dreadful as it was loud.

Porkus proclaimed-"See what being silly does, it chokes the body as it does the mind!"

The pigs just stood in silence. Their laughter quieted by the wisdom of their fear. Better safe than sorry. No movement, no laughter, no danger.

Poor Silly Pig died from choking on the apple core.

Silly Pig opened his eyes and found himself in a huge line. The line of all lines. He was in line to get into heaven.

An angel was going through the line passing out wings to everyone while they waited to get to the gates entrance. It was more efficient this way. "Please don't fly until you get inside the gate, makes it too easy for line confusion and line cutting if you fly", the angel commanded.

When Silly Pig got his wings he decided to entertain the people around him waiting. Such a burden it is to wait, his whole life he did nothing but wait around and never knowing for what. He hovered above those in line and giggled, "Oink. Oink. Hey- what a lineup- but don't worry about it, look at me, hey hey hey, hee hee hee." He then did spirals and tricks and made everyone laugh. They laughed so much in fact that people were distracted from progressing into the gate entrance.

St. Peter, wanting to see what the hold up was- went to attend to the situation and fix the problem. When he saw silly pig, he said, "Hey flying pig, do you mind- you're distracting people from what is really important. "

Silly Pig now taking on the mantle of Flying Pig said, "Oh no, I didn't know laughing was not important here too. I'm sorry. I just can't seem to help myself."

Peter looked to his advisor and said, "Jesus, do you believe this?"

To which Jesus replied, "Let the pig go back to earth so you can get back to work, no big woop."

Flying pig suddenly found himself flying back to earth. He was flying anywhere and everywhere. By either great oversight or great generosity he had somehow kept his wings. He decided to go back to his farm and let everyone know he was okay.

Flying pig flew and hovered over the pigs stalls, and in his distinct charming voice said his trademark, "Hey everybody, it's me, Silly Pig- though now I am known as Flying Pig. Hey hey hey, hee hee hee."

The pigs were astonished. They were in shock yet couldn't help but laugh with joy. They rolled around laughing so much in their stalls that the commotion brought the walls down. They for the first time saw the world around them.

The pigs looked down on the ground. They put their feet forward wearing the same face that people do when they test the water of a pool with their feet before they jump in. Is it going to be cold? Am I going to sink? They took their first steps forward again and again, until they were no longer in their pig farm, but everywhere and anywhere. They giggled and laughed, taking bigger steps with each ha ha. But Porkus refused to move, insisting that he stay true to his principles.

Flying Pig realized then that great things can happen when you entertain people. Walls come down and people start to see each other. He helped the pigs who had known each other all their lives meet each other for the first time. Voices now had faces. Perhaps that was something important afterall.

From then on Flying Pig made it his raison d'etre to entertain people at life's many lineups, distracting people from what is most important for some laughter and joy.


End file.
